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[26 Apr 2012|02:22pm] |
1. Yo I put all the things on A03. Including stuff from like 2006, and also the insanely filthy RM locker-room orgy thing that was comm-locked and that I still kind of can't believe I wrote? THAT'S WHAT'S UP!
2. what a fucking week for my feels, bro.
  
Blah blah soccer! I am actually too emotionally exhausted to even talk about it, though tumblr remains a horrible record of what a fucking mess I was. All I have for you rn is that this dude
is the prince of my heart*, the step in my groove, my rain in the desert, etc. One day I'm gonna do a huge terrifying post about it.
It's in google docs so you know that's real talk.
*all of real madrid is also the prince. ALL OF THEM.
2a. Speaking of which, this is a thing that ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7) tyrannicides and I are writing now, apparently. It's 25,670 words so far and I made graphics for it.
Cool. Great. Normal late-twenties-year-old stuff.
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| why isn't there a "hunger games" soccer AU |
[27 Feb 2012|02:07pm] |
I mean, I know why there isn't: because RPF is creepy enough without sociopathically killing off your characters. I am not sure I could write any real people, even in fiction, even the ones I truly and deeply hate, getting their faces chewed off by mutant wolves.
but it would be so good, Iker would be the Katnissy volunteer who saves Unai's whiny ass, and Cris would be the beautiful flirty Career with a tragic soul and a heart of gold Finniiiiiiiiiick, and Cesc would be Rue leaping through the trees and Ricky would be the stouthearted bakery boy who survives via the power of Love. (the shipping would obviously be, uhhh, different.) Sergio is Gale. XABI IS CINNA! MOU IS PLUTARCH HEAVENSBEE!! I CAN'T STOP!!!! it could be the first games where nobody dies, because of ... reasons! Ugh, there is no way I can ever write this. goddammit. my psychotic reach exceeds my grasp.
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[17 Feb 2012|09:40pm] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=91.7) valentinesplay reveals are up! which means I can finally admit to you, confessional internet, that I wrote fic where Cesc Fabregas is a kitten and Iker Casillas finds him in a box. (IT'S MORE PLAUSIBLE THAN YOU THINK!) Everything I've written lately is the most embarrassing thing I've ever written. I honestly don't even give a fuck anymore.
Title: The Door, The Table, The Bed
Words: 5322
Rating: PG...13 maybe? For boners.
Pairing: Cesc Fabregas/Iker Casillas
Summary:
is
the end.
Notes: This was a valentine for tyrannicides, who once of her own accord said the following sentence: “I'm not even into cats that way, I just want Cesc sleeping in a cardboard box.” On your own head be it, boo. U r my sunshine.
The Door, the Table, The Bed.
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| FIC: Set Me As A Seal Upon Your Heart |
[15 Feb 2012|06:21pm] |
title: Set Me as a Seal Upon Your Heart
author: rave (dorkorific)
words: 31,197 (??) (?????!?!?!??)
pairing: Cristiano Ronaldo/Ricardo “Kakà” Leite (Football RPS)
rating: nc-17
summary: Cris is a half-demon; Ricky’s a new priest.
warnings: Everything involved in writing an RPF romance in which Kakà’s a priest -- appropriations of Catholic and other Christian symbolism, explicit sexual content, etc. Fuck or Die. Dubcon. Some violent imagery.
notes: ( under cut. )
Set Me As A Seal Upon Your Heart
one // two // three // four // five
on AO3.
soundtrack.
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| i've been hiding from LJ in shame because i still haven't finished my second fucking help_japan fic |
[25 Jan 2012|03:19pm] |
DID YOU KNOW IT'S ALMOST A YEAR LATE? I did, because I think about it every god damned day. Anyway, I'm making a meme-y follow your bliss post -- of the sort that everyone is allowed to do around the new year, so whatever -- because fuck it, that's why. Get this crazy avoidance out of my system. See if it works.
I approach writing in this very millenial, soundtracky way, with a lot of visuals and montages and, you know, flashback jump cuts etc. Everything has a theme song. Would you like to know what the theme songs are for everything I wrote last year and some of the stuff I wrote before that and some of the stuff I'm writing now? And all my veeerrrryyyy deep thoughts about them? Too bad if you don't! ( I'm going to tell you anyway. )
How about y'all? Do you write to music? Is it tailored to the shit you're producing, or is it like "ALWAYS RANDY NEWMAN FOREVER" or whatever? Tell me about youuuuu.
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| oh lj my poor ailing goldfish |
[29 Jul 2011|03:23pm] |
I AM NOT LEAVING YOU, AHAB, OKAY. I'VE STUCK BY YOU AND THIS TANK FOR SO MANY YEARS.
idk, I am afraid of change, so a move to dreamwidth is probs not going to happen until lj actually clutches my hand, gasps out a few consoling words and dies. getting a tumblr was as close as i'm likely to get to "adapting" to "the modern internet."
i have a lot of work that NEEDS to get done today, so i think i'll post some WiPs. that is definitely a good choice which i won't at all regret! ugh, guys, I have so many open projects right now. don't get me wrong, i'm grateful for the creative explosion, but also, help?
( 1. the master & commander/sherlock holmes crossover (2000 words). )
*
( 2. the bbc merlin/t.h. white crossover. (5000 words) (I know.) )
( 3. the stevie/xabi napoleonic war AU. )
( 4. the inception one. )
( 5. the master & commander/temeraire mary sue crossover (YES, REALLY) (I JUST WANT ONE DECENTLY-WRITTEN LADY CHARACTER IN THE O'BRIAN-VERSE, OKAY, IS THAT SO WRONG)(someday i will write a manifesto about Reclaiming the Mary Sue) (and it will be so goddamned boring) (look forward to that day flist) )
fjksdkh my inability to finish my shit. i'm not even gonna get into the ACTIVE FICS aka the district/two help japans/all the psychosis i perpetrate with tyrannicides and ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/user_ontd.gif?v=91.7) yeats all the goddamned day/the whole fucking x-men situation/etc. ahahahha guys. just burying my head in my hands, laughing tragically.
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| god dammit, tumblr |
[14 Jul 2011|09:55am] |
Tumblr is actually the devil's platform. I'm all up in there all damn day long, looking for gifs of Michael Fassbender running a hand ~sensually through his hair (NO REASON, JUST LOOKING) and posting pictures of baby dingoes. I hate you, tumblr. I used to do work. (Hahahahahah just kidding, no I didn't.)
But seriously, it is one of the most insanely ADD-enabling innovations I've ever encountered. I'm never sure if, like -- I start to write things about my life, and then I'm like "that's boring, nobody cares on Tumblr, take it to LJ," and then I look at LJ and it's like "wait, I have to create my own content? Why would I do that ever." and then I just go back to my slack-jawed life of info consumption. RITING IZ HARD. especially because it's the off-season so I'm having this, uh, slight minor x-men situation? I may have mentioned.
I CAN'T HELP THAT THEY GIVE ME FEELINGS. I just want to write 4,000-word sex scenes where they make slow tender brain love by gazing at each other and then Erik makes Charles a bouquet of roses out of metal and then everybody cries. Is that so wrong.
ugh here's an example of what tumblr dun did to me: I started this entry and I'm already petering out. What in god's name was I ever intending to talk about? Was I really going to whine about how the internet gives me too many opportunities to fuck around? APPARENTLY YES I WAS. if you have a tumblr you should come hang out with me so i'll have even MORE ways to waste time. I'm @sashayed. Motto: There Will Be Kitten Gifs.
ps did you guys know that that christopher pine fellow is still
STUPID HOT. so I guess tumblr has its uses after all.
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| district cookies, mix tapes, and other appeasements |
[26 Jun 2011|04:12pm] |
1. ugh, it's a good day. sittin on my front porch, drinkin a beer, creating elaborate art on my keratin outgrowths.
yeahhhhh peep that impasto, internet. MUST BE SUMMER
2. not unrelatedly, I made a summer mixtape. God, it's fuckin difficult to limit yourself to 25 songs, man! but I did it, because that was the arbitrary goal I set for myself. and what am i if not adherent to arbitrary goals.
( mix + tracklist. )
3. I'm mid-one of those WILL ACCOMPLISH THINGS NOW writing sessions; you can tell by the insane extent to which i'm procrastinating. anyway it becomes increasingly clear that the next part of the District is not going in its orignally conceived direction. so now I have a couple pieces of extracurricular media stuff that I can't use. i'mma just post them for fun.
( cris's work inbox + some wonkette. )
ETA: skdfj AND i forgot that the original purpose of this post was to say two things, neither of which I ended up saying.
1. FUCK YES NEW YORK FUCKKKKK YESSSSSSSS
2. I got one of them tumblrs the youth of today are so into: sashayed.tumblr.com. Do you also have a tumblr? Of course you do. What is it? I NEVER WANT TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING EVER AGAIN
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| IDEK what this journal is turning into but I am enjoying it |
[10 Jun 2011|01:07pm] |
People often ask me, "Rave, you are a pretty weird and introverted person afflicted with a number of mental illnesses and a thousand feelings, and also your hair behaves however in the fuck it pleases without regard for your preferences. How, in the face of these disadvantages, do you muster so much swag?"*
The answer, as indicated by the previous entry, is of course "stuff." No, it isn't. It's attitude towards stuff. And I am going to lead you through a beginner's guide to that attitude, because I got a new camera and it's really exciting and I took pictures of ALL THE THINGS!!! So here it is. Rave's Guide To Disposing Of Your Disposable Income, Living Well, and Being Awesome, Episode 2: How to Own Stuff You Love And Love Stuff You Own.** YMMV (Your Materialism May Vary).
( I like things. )
*nobody has ever actually asked me this? I figure it is only a matter of time though.
In conclusion,
This song is the only truth you need ever know and also contains Amy Sedaris. The end. FUCKINNNN DOLLYYYYYY.
WELL that was a fun way to spend the morning. Projects for the rest of today: catching up on ancient comments, reaching 1000 words on my second help_japan story, and at some point maybe doing my job. Maybe. Probably.
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| no wonder i don't have any money |
[16 May 2011|08:01pm] |
I'm behind on comments and there are a trillion things I am tempted to talk about -- mostly, let's be honest, soccer, NBC's thursday night lineup (I think "The Fight" might have been my favorite episode of anything on television, ever? but maybe that's just the Snake Juice talking) and dudes. Because I watched Easy A again. That Stanley Tucci, AM I RIGHT LADIES???
But more importantly: consumerism. You know "Things I Bought That I Love," Mindy Kaling's tragically defunct listing of/commentary on same? I wanna do it. I buy things, especially now that I have a real job and I am confused by how much money that involves. (hint: it's not a lot. but anything over, say, $17k a year seems to me miraculous and I feel like I have to SPEND IT ALL RIGHT AWAY JESUS CHRIST I CANNOT DEAL WITH HAVING ANY MONEY GET IT OUT OF MY POCKETS.)
So here's some stuff I think is pretty great, for various shallow reasons. I bought it and I anti-regret it every day. You should buy it too.
( if you care about the global economy you should probably buy this crap you don't need )
I think ten is enough, so let's cut it off there. PLAY ME OFF, RON SWANSON/GREATEST GIF EVER
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| help_japan fic #1: minus the shooting 1/? (trek rps, football rps[? ????]) |
[07 May 2011|01:04pm] |
title: Minus the Shooting (1/?)
author: Rave (dorkorific)
rating: PG
characters: Chris Pine, Xabi Alonso, Zachary Quinto, Steven Gerrard, etc.
disclaimer: Absolutely 100% untrue
words: ~3200.
summary: fragment of a larger AU. Chris Pine, the highest-paid American player in the EPL, makes an ill-thought-out transfer; Xabi Alonso, PR guru, has to handle the fallout. (Googledocs name: CFineIsFernandoTorresKindOf.)
notes: HAHAHAH WELL.
When I am old, and my grandchildren ask me what I have accomplished in my life, I will wheeze out, "One time...I wrote an internet fan fiction...where the guy from Star Trek...played professional soccer in England....and I took it....very seriously." And they will exchange nervous looks, but my face will be wreathed in a last contented smile.
Written for anna_unfolding's incredibly generous help_japan donation and hilarious/wonderful prompt. (srsly I kind of wish I could just post the email, it's goddamned amazing.) gurl. you are a great boss. thx for letting me do this in bits and i seriously hope you like it as that is my sole purpose rn.
( 'Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting.' )
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[22 Apr 2011|01:56pm] |
Little to say about the Copa final, except that I really, really love this team, like, to an extent that's genuinely stupid and uncalled for. and my affection for Cris -- never minor at the best of times -- reached points of genuine hysteria.
I MEAN, REALLY.
I've been wearing my jersey so often that I feel like it's gonna fuse to my body, like an exoskeleton. Whatever. Worth it. I wore it, in fact, to a DC United game with dae5885 last night; the dress code at DCU games, apparently, is less "wear DCU gear" than "wear something that shows you have heard of the sport of soccer." MAD arsenal jerseys up in that stadium, let me tell you. and one guy in a Torres LFC jersey. Dude. look at your choices.
Anyway, we got our asses handed to us -- 4-0, our worst loss at home in 11 years -- which dampened my spirits somewhat, but not really. On my way out of the stadium I tripped on the sidewalk and went absolutely ass over cupcakes, and was immediately helped up by crew of boisterous El Salvadoran dudes yelling HALA MADRID and ARE YOU OK MESUT and, best of all, YOU FELL LIKE THE COPA! "At least you didn't get hit by a bus!" said one of them as I dusted myself off.
"Sergioooooo," I said, pumping my fists. SERGIOOOOOOOOO, they yelled back.
UGH, IT WAS GREAT. Dae, thanks for tolerating me yesterday. I know it was not easy.
Poetry Month make-up extravaganza time now. some about lady stuff. some about other stuff.
( 16. Kim Addonizio: What Do Women Want? )
*
( 17. Matthea Harvey: The Straightforward Mermaid )
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( 18. Marie Ponsot: The Problem of Fiction )
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( 19. Czesław Miłosz: Account )
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( 20. Stephen Dunn: Decorum )
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( 21. Pat Boran: A Man Is Only As Good )
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( 22. Robert Creeley: I Know A Man )
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